pretty* girl in the city

Times They Are A Changing.....

2011-03-22T19:59:00.002-04:00

A month and a half ago, I joined a gym. My goal? Total makeover. So far, I've managed to lose two sizes and actually enjoy shopping for clothes for the first time in a LONG time!

A few weeks ago, I started going back to church again. A Christian church in my neighborhood and I am enjoying that as well.

I have decided to stop reading "smut" and have begun listening to Christian music in addition to my 80's and 90's music that I love so much.

I have attempted to quit cussing (still a work in progress), I try to practice non-agreesive driving (aka road rage- another work in progress), and I am trying to look at the positive side of everything.

The reason I am listing all of these things? I am trying to be a better person. I want to be a better person. I need to be a better person. My hope? Living a better, healthier life. And in addition to living a better, healthier life- I hope to meet someone. Yes, I know once again I'm single and while this time I admit responsibility for the outcome of mine and Andy's relationship however, after a few months of being single I'm starting to miss being in a relationship.

Let's hope all of these changes will lead me in the right direction, and have the right man start in the direction towards me.

Another day...Another cold day....

2010-12-08T12:24:00.002-05:00

Cold weather can not be good for a person. It just can't. Cold=depression. Your all bundled up, trying to stay warm, not wanting to go outside- this isn't good. I'm not saying I want it to be 100 degrees outside but 70-75 would be so much better than single digits!!!

Right now I'm looking outside and it just looks brrrrr.....but what I really should be doing is working on my last final for Fall semester. Instead, I'm blogging and playing around on Goodreads.com. Productive isn't it???

Why can't it just be warm outside again???

By the way...

2010-12-06T16:21:00.001-05:00

It's snowing.....

I hate snow.

Also, it's really cold outside. Not a fan of this either.

That is all.

And again, it's been a long time!!!

2010-12-06T16:11:00.002-05:00

Once again, it's been forever since I've blogged on here!! I guess life gets carried away and we forget about things. The past few months have been like that; between school, Andy, work and family-it's been pretty hectic!!

But here it is, almost Christmas! Where has the year gone??? It's hard to believe that this will be my first Christmas without Mamaw, that's still taking some getting used too. Mom and I went to visit her grave on Thanksgiving and it didn't seem real. I kept expecting us to drive out to the nursing home to visit her. She died July 21st and it just doesn't seem like it's been that long. I miss her.

School is going well. I made it through summer sessions and next week is finals week for the Fall semester. A year from now, I'll have a Master's degree--how crazy is that??? I still have to take my PRAXIS for English, not looking forward to that! But I'm finding getting a job in Fayette County school district isn't as easy as one might think, even with me subbing it's proving to be difficult. In fact, I might have to take another job until something comes along. Actually no "might" about it, I'm going to have too.

Currently reading: Captivate by Carrie Jones

This book is part of the "Need" series, the first one ("Need") was pretty decent but I'm having a hard time getting through this one. I'm also trying to decide if I want to re-try the Vampire Academy series since the last book was released this month, haven't decided yet. I've tried it twice before and couldn't make it through the first book but I keep hearing what a great series it is, so maybe I should give it another shot? We'll see.

7th Book.....

2010-05-25T11:07:00.002-04:00

Well what can I say about this book....

1. It took me FOREVER to read it,

2. If you thought the Rielle Hunter thing was bad....Edwards was a jack-ass from the beginning,

3. Elizabeth Edwards might be the one of the biggest bitches (and also the biggest idiots) of all time,

4. Democrat or Republican...doesn't matter....every man falls to the same temptations eventually,

5. Using "Bunny" Mellon money to finance his mistress, Edwards should go to jail for a LONG time for deceiving such a nice - even though misguided- old lady,

6. Cheri (Young's wife) should file for divorce like Elizabeth did- or else she might win the title of the biggest idiot,

7. Andrew Young gives new meaning to what-a-man-will-do-to-keep-a-job reward......and in doing so he's ruined his career.......IDIOT!

While this book did teach me about politics from the stand point of gossip there wasn't enough for me. I do realize that since there is a legal battle still going on he probably couldn't write everything that happened but with that being said I think Young would have been better off waiting till everything was settled and then writing his story- using only the Rielle factor- the rest of the story, all 185 pages, was purely Young defending himself for his eventually loss of...a brain? Morals? Manhood? I dunno, but the guy is an absolute idiot!

Most disappointing so far....

2010-05-11T21:34:00.003-04:00

Had high hopes for this book...but unfortunately there was WAY too much erotica and not enough story to keep me interested!

Had to stop halfway through....unless your ready for 5 pages of story and then 20 pages of sex...DON'T READ!

Finished Spring Semester!! Finished 5th Book!!!

2010-05-10T11:07:00.002-04:00

School is officially out!!! I managed to get a 4.0 in my first semester of my Master's program...I'm pretty damn excited about that!!!! Now I have about 3 weeks before I have to get ready for Summer 1 and 2 but that's OK...I'm going to relax and enjoy this freedom!!! By this time next year I'll be on the way to graduation and who would have thought ME having a Master's in Education!

But enough about my awesome grades! :)

Book 5.....

Well I didn't get it read as fast as I would have liked too...so therefore, I have cut back my goal of 15 to 10. Andy got much amusement out of that, hey what can I say I have high reaching goals!!! :)

But about the book....Catering to Nobody has been out for awhile and there is a series of these books. I can see why! I loved this mystery! Even though parts of it were predicable I thought overall the book was well written and thought out. I love Goldy's best friend Marla and how loud-mouthed and opinionated she is!

Parts of the book did remind my of the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich- one crime solver, two love interests, jack-ass ex-husband- but one thing that is different is a kid. Goldy's character has a kid, Arch, and needless to say he is one moody little kid! There were parts in the book that I wanted her to just turn around and slap the kid!

Overall, it's a great read! The kind where no one is safe and everyone has a motive or a secret.

I highly suggest it!!!

Rain, rain go away...and 4th book!

2010-05-05T12:20:00.003-04:00

Is it bad to say I had high expectations for this book? Seriously, stop laughing...I did! I loved Laguna Beach and I'm totally addicted to The Hills so when I heard that LC was writing a book I got excited!

But...then I read it....and needless to say I'm not as excited about reading the sequel. While reading this book I tried to imagine LC as Jane (the main character) but it just didn't fit. This book seems like it's written with Lo as the main character and possibly Audrina as Scarlett the best-friend/sidekick. Not to say Lo isn't interesting but every chapter in the book felt like an episode of The Hills that I had already seen. Back-stabbing, hook-ups, lies, etc...nothing new and exciting to offer up in this book.

Rain....

Oh, how I hate you! This past weekend was miserable with all the rain and nastiness! My bedroom carpet got wet from the rain and I had to run out to Home Depot Sunday morning and buy a dehumidifier because the maintenance guys in the apartment were of NO help what-so-ever!

House hunting can not come soon enough!!!!

But at least we did not get the flooding that Nashville did, it breaks my heart to see downtown practically underwater.

3rd book....

2010-04-30T12:16:00.002-04:00

So disappointed in this book! I had been wanting to read it forever!!! The stories aren't very funny and I just expected more from her. I love her show on E! but this book left much to be desired. I did want to read her next book "Are You There Vodka, it's me Chelsea?" but I'm going to hold off...this book just left such a bad taste in my mouth!

I get the fact that she's a slut but seriously....I would have expected her stories about all the different men she's slept with to be a little bit funnier. I went into this book thinking it would be along the same lines as "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" but it's not even close!!! Tucker Max, who isn't a comedian just a college grad, did a better job writing about his "quests" then she does in this book.

If anyone is reading this...stay away and save yourselves a couple of hours reading time!

On a side note...

I think the painters are almost done with the apartment building!! Since the fire in December things have been so crazy around here with the noise, all the workers and the nastiness that I just want things to get back to normal for summer! I miss peace and quiet!!!!

Hope everyone has a great Derby weekend!!!!!!

2nd Book......

2010-04-28T23:29:00.003-04:00

So I've finished the second book! I smell victory in the making!!! Especially given the fact that Andy has yet to even finish his first book....although I guess for fairness purposes I should mention it's the 6th book in the Harry Potter series....but again, I feel victory in the making!!!!

Moving along....

This book, the dead and the gone, is a companion to life as we knew it. Both books use the perspectives of adolescents, one girl and one boy, and while it might be a Young Adult works...it has a lot of deep and religious meaning to it.

A meteor hits the moon knocking it closer in orbit to the earth. In doing so, this sends the world into a global meltdown. I mean seriously, Global Warming has NOTHING on what happens in these books. The gravitational pull throws the currents off track creating tsunamis and volcanoes being to erupt, so many in fact that ash begins to cover the skies spreading across the US. So people find themselves unable to grow food, have fresh water, etc.

While I know the book sounds VERY serious...I have to admit....it's awesome!!! I've never been a huge sci-fi fan but these books are like the car accident you know you should look away from but just can't.

I highly recommend!!!!!

On a personal note, had a great day today!!!! My mom came to visit and we went shopping, I took her out for an early Mommy's Day lunch and we had a great time!!!! I don't get to see her enough! :)

Alright...past my bedtime.......although I am kinda tempted to start on book 3---Chelsea Handler's My Horizontal Life......

1st Book.....

2010-04-26T14:45:00.004-04:00

I finished the first book last night (only 14 more to go!!!)

This is the 3rd book in the Lifelines series, in my opinion it was one of the best! These books are the perfect mix between Grey's Anatomy and Hawthorne- and if you haven't watched Hawthorne you seriously need to check it out!!!

This book is told from Nora's perspective mainly, it goes into the background details about her rape and figuring out who attacked her 2 years ago.

But here's my question's for CJ Lyons----there HAS to be another book right??? I mean, what happens between Gina and Jerry??? And who is the guy looking for Lydia? Who hired him??? I mean, come on! Don't leave the loyal readers just hanging!!!!!

UPDATE: I left a comment on CJ Lyons website about having a 4th book and....SHE EMAILED ME BACK!!! There will be a 4th book!!! Critical Condition and it's set to release December 7th 2010...so excited!!!!!!

Good Things Come to Those........

2010-04-26T14:11:00.002-04:00

It's been almost 2 years since my last blog, shit that's a LONG time!!!!

It seems cliche to say so much has happened since 2008 but it really has! Nothing like a couple of broken hearts, couple of job changes and going back to school again to put some things in perspective for a girl.

Here's a recap:

2008- THE YEAR OF JEREMY

He came, he saw, he loved, he freaked, and then he left.....did I mention I almost moved to Michigan to be with him??? Yeah, OUCH!

Can you see ME in Michigan? Seriously??? I don't even drive in snow when there is 2 inches on the ground.....let alone 2 feet!

2009- THE YEAR OF THE PIT OF HELL AND MAKING THE SMARTEST DECISION IN MY LIFE

Pit of Hell= job. And yes, while it served it's purpose....kept a roof over my head, food in my mouth, coffee in my hand and a new bag every few months on my arm....did I mention it was hell???? Seriously, this job deserves a WHOLE blog all to itself and if it weren't for the fact that I'll be soon posting a link to this blog on my Facebook page and former co-workers could read, it would get the respect or is it disrespect??? That it clearly deserves...hmmm......

Moving on......

Smartest decision in my life comes in 2 parts:

Part 1: ANDY!

Yes ladies and gents, I've finally met a man worth keeping around in my life. He's amazing and very supportive...and the best part??? LEGO'S!!!!! Hahaha...but seriously! I didn't know how cool Lego's had gotten, childish spinster I am, since the days of 80's when I played with them. These things are seriously kick-ass!!!

Part 2: SCHOOL

So this amazing man told me that I was far too talented to be wasting my time in the Pit of Hell, see above, and said I should really consider teaching. So, I decided to get my Master's in Education....crazy I know! But hell, I've already turned 30 and thought I was facing a crossroads in my life.....WHAT DID I TRULY WANT??? I didn't have a husband or kids holding me back ...like I've seen others experience and I had the chance to do what I WANTED with my life and it was a now or never kinda thing!

Apparently it was the right choice too....it allowed me to quit my job, start subbing in the schools and I'm maintaining a 4.0....but ask me again after summer sessions....9 hours in 8 weeks......alcohol will be involved!!!!

SO, in a nut shell that has been the past 2 years of my life...at least the parts I want the world to see.......

Oh, and stay tuned because Andy and I have decided to have a little readathon between the 2 of us (since I couldn't take part in this years) and I must read 15 books by May 31st, I'll be blogging about each of them as my "proof" too! :)

It's Almost 2am and I'm Awake!

2008-03-10T01:47:00.002-04:00

Ok...it's almost 2am and I'm wide awake watching The Devil Wears Prada....

I remember the days where I used to pass out right at 11pm....whatever happened to those days???

Shoe Addicts Anonymous...

2008-03-09T23:15:00.002-04:00

Since I was snowed in again today I spent the greater majority of it reading. And let me tell you, Shoe Addicts Anonymous is a GREAT book! I could have easily finished it in one sitting...which I can't say about ever book I read. If your into reading, def. check this book out!

UK won today! We beat Florida..FINALLY!....something which Tubby had failed to do for the last couple of years. I also found out we got a first round bye for the SEC tourney so instead of playing on Thursday we get to play on Friday. UK is doing really well right now but we do need all the help we can get! I just hope we can get into the NCAA tourney..it would be a shame to see our streak broken for the most visits to the tourney of any team!

I'm soooo ready for Spring! Although the time change time is killing me! I know it's just an hour but still...I'm not used to it! I'm sick of the snow, cold temps and how much heat this apartment seems to lose!! Being on the first floor is not all it's cracked up to be! It's supposed to be warm here tomorrow so I'm hoping I can go out walking but we'll see! Atleast the snow is melting...that's a good thing!!

*Yawn*....I think it's time to get ready for bed! I'm finally starting to get back on a normal sleep schedule...yay!!!

SNOW!

2008-03-08T11:56:00.005-05:00

OH MY GOSH!!!

The snow just won't stop!!!! It's been snowing here since last night...well last night it was a mix of sleet and snow. But it just won't stop!!! So much for going out and doing anything today. And you would think with all this snow there could at least be something good on tv but NOPE! Nothing, nadda, zip! UK isn't even playing today!!! (Although we play Florida tomorrow and I PRAY we can win!) Well at least I have my books!

Like I've said before I have become addicted to Bookmooch.com...it's such a great website! I've gotten all kinds of good books off of it! And a lot of people have gotten some good books from me! :)

Right now I'm in the process of reading "Shoe Addicts Anonymous" it's a really good book so far! It's a book for anyone who enjoys shoes...and while I'm a pure aholic I can still appericate the story line. I finished "The Choice" by Nicholas Sparks last night and talk about a tear jerker!!!!! I mean, we are talking "The Notebook" kinda tear jerker!!! I've got to give the man credit...he can write.

Just a side note...Bookee is addicted to the snow! She goes nuts over it!! It's funny to watch especially since this is her first winter...but all those little white specks flying around are just so funny to her and she has to try and attack every single one of them! hehe I can't wait till the spring and I can put a birdfeeder off the back deck and draw the birds in for her amusement! That's going to be so funny!!!!! If springtime ever manages to get here!!!!!!!

Oh well, back to reading....

Who Would Have Thought...I'm a Smarty After All!!!

2008-03-07T00:39:00.002-05:00

So about a month ago I had to go and buy a new Sprint phone because my old one up and died on me! I got a great deal on a Moto Q (Moto's version of a Blackberry) which normally runs $400-500...well yours truly got it for $150!!! Anyways, I LOVE my phone! I can get online, check email, etc...it's truly addicting...plus when your out in public it makes you look like a VERY cool, grownup ;)

My only problem with my new toy was that everyone else could program their phones to check their email automatically and let them know if there was anything new. But I couldn't figure out how! So instead of actually going to Sprint and being like ....Uh, hi can you help me figure out my way too cool for me phone??? I just up and decided not to worry about it....until tonight! With the help of Google (what would we do without it???) and some new nerdyish guys on a forum for Moto Q I was able to finally figure out how to work my phone! YAY! Go me!!! :) (doing a little bit of a happy dance over here) Now I'll look EVEN COOLER when I'm out and my phone beeps at me to let me know I have a new email :)

(And yes, it's the little things in life that matter..)

Eventually I will get back on some kind of sleep schedule......

I hope.

London Fog....

2008-03-05T23:56:00.002-05:00

Wow, my sleep schedule is totally screwed up!!! I haven't been able to get to sleep at night and then when I finally do fall asleep I'm sleeping in till like 9-10am in the mornings. Last night I was up till 4am!!!! I woke up at 10 this morning but for some strange reason it's midnight and I'm awake!

Guess I have a lot of my mind....

I've offically given up on reading A New Earth. I tried reading the 2nd chapter tonight and I'm just not having my "ah ha moment" as Oprah said I would. I tried, but oh well.

Tonight I went to bible study...had a good time! I really like this pastor, he's down to earth and laid back. And he gets his point across without making me feel bad about not having gone to church for several/many years! I'm going to enjoy going on Sunday...we are doing a series on Truth and Consequences and it seems really interesting so far.

OH MY GOSH!!!!

I am watching MSNBC right now and I wished they would quit showing the Hillary Clinton commerical with the 3am call! I'm so sick of that commerical!! All she did with that commerical was manage to scare up some votes at the last minute...I'd love to see what would have happened without the ad! I'm all about Obama! I really believe that he is our JFK. :)

Right now Bookee (my cat) is laying all stretched out beside me....this cat is getting more sleep a night than I am!! What's wrong with this picture!!! (Just a little side note)

So who is going to be the Democratic nom? Clinton? Obama? I pray it's Obama!! What I would love to see is a Obama/Clinton ticket! I think the two of them together would be unstopable! McCain would never stand a chance! But the only problem is....who would run for President? Both are so stubborn that neither one would be willing to step back and say ok, you go for it. And I'm not so sure we are ready for a female president right now....a female VP yes, but not president. We are ready for Obama though! Just think....Obama runs for 2 terms with Hillary as VP and then Hillary runs as President for 2 terms...that's 16 years of Democratic rule! That would be awesome!!!

Oh...in case your wondering...London Fog is my new favorite tea :) It's PERFECT for cold/rainy days!!!!

Rainy Days...

2008-03-04T19:54:00.002-05:00

Last night I went to the book club meeting for the "porn book" I was reading! The weather was lousy so there weren't very many that turned out...me, the lady over the book club and another lady. I felt kinda out of place because both were older and they know eachother but they sent me out of there with a HUGE list of books to read!!!

Last night was the first night that Oprah's webinar met...it was a disaster! About 30 minutes into it the picture froze and when you "x" out of the screen and tried to get back in you couldn't. This morning they sent out an email apologizing for the problem and said they would try to have it fixed by next week. I'm going to give it one more week then if it doesn't work ...I give up! Besides it was mom's idea anyways!! lol

Funny story...

This morning I went to go and take a shower. Where we had a warm day yesterday and a cold day today I guess bugs were trying to get into some place warm. Well, there was this HUGE spider in my shower this morning (I HATE SPIDERS!) ...so what do I do? I scream like crazy and then call for my protector (aka Bookee) to come and save me! I mean come on she's a fiesty kitty and should kill the bug...if not play it to death and then eat it! What does my darling little girl do???? She comes running in, looks at the spider, looks at me, back at the spider and then gives me this HAHA VERY FUNNY MOMMY look before running off to HIDE UNDER MY BED!!!! After I flush the nasty, scary, freaky spider down the drain I go into the bedroom and there is the Diva (oh yes, she's one of THOSE kitties) with her nose stuck out from under the bed and nothing else! Some protector I have!!!!!

Oh well....American Idol time!!! :)

Busy, Busy Day!

2008-03-03T10:11:00.002-05:00

I finished my "porn" book over the weekend!! Hehe...actually it wasn't that bad. The book club meets tonight which should be fun! But it's going to be a crazy day!! I have to run a couple of errands today, book club at 7 tonight and then be home in time for Oprah's webinar tonight at 9. I read the first chapter of the book we are discussing "The New Earth" I'm 50/50 on it though...a lot of what he says makes sense. If you haven't read the book...he's basically talking about how our ego's get in the way of being good people. The man has a point...I mean a lot of us let our ego's get in the way when it comes to our lives. I'm pretty damn stubborn and don't like to be proven wrong..in fact I hate it! So maybe this book will give some pointers on how not to be so stubborn..we'll see...I'm reading it a chapter a week like how we are discussing it in the webinar...mainly because I have so many other things to read!!!

I went to my first church service in a LONG time yesterday. I was a little uncomfortable at first...I mean I haven't been to church in YEARS! But this church has a more laid back approach and after awhile it was ok...the message was a good one. I'm actually looking forward to going back to Bible Study this coming Wednesday...I just wished I didn't have to go alone. I think that was my biggest problem yesterday...I went alone. It was awkward. But I am going to keep going...I mean I'm easy going, pretty, youngish girl (I'm only 28!!) so I should be able to meet people!!!!

The diet is going well....I'm trying my hardest to stick to this organic thing! I have slipped a couple of times and gotten Subway...I know chicken isn't supposed to be great for us but I can't quit meat cold turkey!!! I mean come on! But I haven't had a REAL Pepsi/Coke is weeks!!!! I am still drinking coffee but I switched to decaf organic herbal tea...and it's really not that bad. Oh, and no fried foods!! I haven't worked out in about a week though...but I will plus it's going to be getting warmer and I can go walking outside...which is something I would much rather do then go to a stinky gym!!! hehehehe :)

Pleasures of the Night....

2008-02-29T16:45:00.002-05:00

I finally received my 1st book club book today!!! It's called "Pleasures of the Night" ....Jeremy swears up and down it sounds like porn!!! hahaha We will see! It is for a Romance book club...so you never know! I used to always be hesitant to read those types of books that have half naked people on them...but this book sounds interesting so I will give it a chance!

I also read the first chapters of The New World and The Omnivore's Dilemma last night....very interesting so far!!! Omnivore's Dilemma is perfect for me right...it talks about where we get our food from and he divides the book into 3 parts....Industrial Food, Organic (which is all I'm trying to eat right now thanks to Skinny Bitches) and the hunt and gather approach. I was a little leary of this book at first but I think it's going to be alright after all :)

Changes, changes, changes!

2008-02-28T16:16:00.002-05:00

Wow, it's been a LONG time since I have blogged on here!!! I have canceled my MySpace and Facebook accounts...this is really all I need...I'm not a MySpace junky or anything! I have been through a bunch of changes here lately! I'm on a huge reading kick and just recently signed up for bookmooch.com ...if you haven't checked it out before...check it out now! It's an awesome website for getting rid of books you don't read anymore and get books that you want to read! It's my new addiciton :)

I just finished reading a book called "Skinny Bitch" ...I know, I know terrible title but it's really an interesting book. It's given me a totally new outlook on what I eat and put in my body. Today I went out to an organic grocery store and bought a TON of food, cleaned out my cabinets and decided to give this 30 days and see if it works. So yours truly may end up being a "Skinny Bitch"! ;)

I also went and checked out a new church last night...well I checked out the Bible Study part. It was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed it! We didn't really talk about the bible in depth but we talked about current events that I had questions about and how it applied to the bible. It was nice because the weather was sucky and so it was only the minster, his wife and his daughter...which was nice. I don't know if I could have dared spoken in front of other people about my thoughts, issues, etc. I'm going to the church service on Sunday morning at 11am so I'm looking forward to meeting the other members of the church.

I've also gone and joined a TON of book clubs! 2 different ones at bookstores and another one through the library. The first one meets on Monday and I ordered the book from a used bookstore on Amazon but have yet to receive it...yikes!!! I hope I have it by tomorrow or else I'm not going to have it read by Monday! The other 2 are later in the month so I should have plenty of time! In one of the groups we are reading The Omnivreo's Dilemma...I'm interested to see what this book says in comparison to the "Skinny Bitch"

Another interesting thing I've gone and done is join the Oprah Book Club. The book The New World is supposed to be an awesome book and they are starting this online class which is supposed to be the biggest classroom in the world! I just got the book today and the first class is on Monday so I'm anxious to see what happens and how this goes.

Maybe all these changes have something to do with Spring cleaning....if it ever gets here!!! We will see how it goes though! :)

Inventing a Boyfriend is sad, but sometimes necessary.

2007-10-07T20:39:00.000-04:00

My friend Lindsay called me the other day. Her family keeps wanting to know why she has no boyfriend....my advice, invent one.

Since I am the writer in my circle of friends I offered the following storyline.....

I think his name will be Chad. He'll be a surgeon. A heart surgeon (Preston Burke anyone?!?). Tall, dark....well, and handsome, of course. They will meet at Starbucks. He will take her chai tea latte by mistake and she grabbed his tall double espresso skim. Perfect.

(It's not like they are annoyingly bugging her, but they are concerned and it frankly freaks her out...it would me too)

Lindsay grow up in a small town and since moving to the much larger, and wilder Lexington her parents insist on emailing her at least 5 times a day. Other than the typical Sunday afternoon phone call, this family is strictly email bound.

Here lately, however, the phone calls have increased to 2 even 3 times a week. This leads Lindsay to believe (and I agree) that her family is concerned for her well being. Suicide watch anyone?? According to the parentals however, they are "just checking in."

Enter the famous question.....

"So, any new boyfriends?"

(Like 1 isn't enough, we have to be plural?!?!)

And as usual the answer is ......no.

While the search continues I have now advised Lindsay to introduce Dr. Chad, or as I like to call him...Dr. McChaddy (I know, I know....Grey's Anatomy owns my soul) Now when those phone calls take place and weekend plans are inquired about Lindsay can simply say..."Oh, I think Chad has something planned. He won't tell me though. He just told me to pack a bikini and one of those big floppy J-Lo hats. Oh, there's his Porshe! Gotta run!"

My Mom The Computer Whiz

2007-08-01T15:45:00.000-04:00

Oh my Gosh, I can't handle it—I CAN'T HANDLE IT!

My mom finally got her new compuer and, for some reason, the modem stopped working today. After spending a painful—and I mean painful—20 minutes on the phone with her trying to help figure out what happened, I told her to call the cable company because the thing seemed to have died completely. She ended up having to take it in and trade it in for a new one, and when she got home, she called me frantically and was like, "What's the difference between a urethra and UCB?"

I was like, "Pardon me?"

"The new modem came with a urethra and a UCB. Which one should I use to hook it up?""Um, do you mean an Ethernet and a USB cord?"

"Yeah, that's it..."

God bless her. I'm sure I'll be the same way some day.

Old Cow, New Cow

2007-07-02T17:38:00.000-04:00

It was, by all accounts, an inauspicious morning.

In fact, it was just like every other morning I'd had since breaking up.

I woke up before the alarm.

I remembered a dream I'd had about him.
(A wild boar was chasing him around. Was I the wild boar?)

I recalled a few choice aspects of our relationship (his washboard stomach, his bad-love-poetry E-mails, his impeccable taste in cheesy vacation souvenirs).

Which made me cry.

Which made me mad.

Which propelled me into the shower, and then to make coffee, and then to sit at the kitchen table until I realized that nothing would become of me unless I got dressed and dragged my ass to work.

Little did I know that when I opened the science section of the newspaper at my desk an hour later, I would find the nugget, the germ, the essence of what would become my obsession over the next year: a reference to the mating preferences of bulls buried in an article on human male behavior.

I stared at the article.

My heart pounded.

My breath become shallow.

I started to sweat like Richard Nixon.

I read the article twice, clipped it, stapled it together, then read it again -- this time with a yellow highlighter.

The Coolidge Effect was the technical name for it -- it -- the need to provide bulls with multiple cows for mating.

Multiple cows for mating.

I took my reading glasses off, then stood up and checked my watch: forty-five minutes before the production meeting with Diane. I call-forwarded my phone and ran down the hallway to our reference library, small but well stocked, where all PBS staff could do preliminary research on news stories, show topics, and guests.

The Coolidge Effect.

The Coolidge Effect.

I stared at the shelves trying to figure out which books to pull out. I opened the C volume of the encyclopedia and checked under Cattle

History of the U.S. Cattle Industry.

Cattle Raising.

Domestication.

Breeding Techniques.

See Animal Husbandry.

I scanned the shelves.

A volume missing.

No books on agriculture.

Or farming.

Or animals.

I took a step back and ran my eyes over each section of the shelves -- history; politics; psychology; literature; sociology. Finally something caught my eye: The Great Sex Divide (Glenn Wilson, 1989). I lunged for it. As soon as I saw the Coolidge Effect listed in the index, I knew victory was close at hand.

The...effect is seen...strikingly in farm animals such as sheep and cattle. Rams and bulls are unmistakably resistant to repeating sex with the same female (Beamer, Bermant and Clegg, 1969). Thus for breeding purposes it is unnecessary for a farmer to have more than one male to service all his sheep and cows. A single bull can be relied upon to do the rounds of all the available cows, and a single ram will eventually service all the sheep in his domain.

Unmistakably resistant to repeating sex with the same female.

I read on: Male animals do not choose their mates randomly: they identify and reject those that they have already had sex with. In the case of rams and bulls it is notoriously difficult to fool them that a female is unfamiliar. Attempts to disguise an old partner by covering her face and body or masking her vaginal odors with other smells are usually unsuccessful. Somehow she is identified as "already serviced" and the male moves on to less familiar females.

Already serviced.

New Cow Old Cow.

I stared at the book.

I smiled.

Then I faxed Joan and told her to meet me at Aphrodite for lunch in two hours.

"So, Dr. Goodall. What's the meaning of this cryptic fax?" Joan said, pulling it out of her bag:

New-Cow theory sheds much-needed light on narcissistic behavior in the male species. Stop. Dr. Goodall, disciple of Freud, Leakey, Fossey, and Jung and founder of the Institute for the Study and Prevention of Male Behavior, will present research findings at emergency Aphrodite lunch symposium. Stop. Nota bene: No cameras, please. Stop.

Once Joan had finished scanning it, Dr. Goodall checked the hair in her nonexistent bun. "Yes, you see, my rather busy schedule of research at the Institute and lectures at various conferences around the world about male behavior have, I'm sorry to say, prevented me from transcribing my rather illegible findings into formal papers, and I'm afraid it would do science a great disservice were the press to review my data prematurely -- "

Joan lit a Marlboro and looked at her watch. "Come on, Jane. Tell Dr. Goodall to make it snappy."

I pushed the menus aside and leaned forward. "Remember the time I saw that graffiti on the subway?"

"'Baby I loves the toilet you sit on?'"

"No, no, no. 'I's tired of fucking the same woman every night.' Remember how we thought there might actually be something to that? Like maybe it was some kind of window into their --
"

"Schizophrenic behavior?"

"Well, it is," I said, taking out the newspaper. "The New-Cow theory -- "I's tired of fucking the same woman every night' -- same thing."

I spread the article out on the table and watched Joan read it. Then I showed her The Great Sex Divide.

"You see, we were Old Cow," I said, pointing at the book. "We were 'already serviced.' And they wanted to move on to "less familiar females.'"

Joan shook her head. "I don't know. It's too simple. And besides, that applies to animals."

"So?"

"So...you can't extrapolate that the same is true in humans."

"Why not?"

We looked at each other. "Why can't we extrapolate that?" I asked, as much of myself as of Joan.

She thought a minute. "Because. Because humans are more complex. There are a thousand things that affect what happens between them. This Coolidge Effect or the New-Cow theory is too simple, too one-dimensional. It's much more complicated than that."

"But maybe it isn't," I said, thinking out loud. "Maybe we just assume it's more complicated than that with men when in reality it's something as incredibly obvious as this."

Joan didn't blink. "You really think so?"

"I don't know. It's just something I've been wondering about lately."

In about eleven different notebooks.

"What?" she asked. "Cows and bulls?"

"No." I lit a cigarette and exhaled slowly. "About what the answer is. About why men flip-flop from passion to panic until they finally disappear." I thought about the notebooks and the clippings I'd collected. I thought about Evelyn the cat. And for a moment I was tempted to mention them, to tell Joan more of what I'd been reading and finding. But I didn't. It was too soon -- my thoughts were too jumbled, too unformed, the data still too raw.

"Well," Joan said finally. "It certainly would explain Jason."

"And Ray," I said.

We looked at each other, then said the same thing:"And Eddie."

Free at Last, Free at Last...

2007-07-01T23:17:00.000-04:00

Thank God Almighty, she's free at last!

This may sound silly, but I'm really happy Paris is free. I wanna hug her and say, "You did it, you lil trooper!" I started to feel sorry for her last week. She seemed to have learned her lesson and was still stuck in that horrible jail... I bet you the sheets there are really scratchy.

Sorry, I don't know where that came from.

(But seriously, I bet the thread count is like -4 or something.)

I hope she didn't get prison acne.

Anyway, Paris is stronger than we thought. As crazy as she may have gotten, she stuck it out. Don't take that away from her.

A few of my favorite things...

2007-06-29T17:53:00.000-04:00

Makeup:

Foundation: L`OREAL true match - neutral
Neutrogena Healthy Skin Glow Sheers - SPF 30 - Light to Medium

Powder: Physicians Formula Beige

Bronzer: Physicians Formula Mineral Wear Bronzer
Physicians Formula Mineral Wear Magic Mosaic Warm/Light

Lip Gloss: Neutrogena Whisper 05 (I will never wear another color)

Mascara: Volum' Express by Maybelline New York - Black (Same with this, I swear by this!)

Eye Shadow: Maybelline New York 170 Earthy Taupe;
Designer Chocolates WC145 - 4 Blendable Colors

Blush: Clinique Breathless Berry K76

Shower:

Shampoo - Back to Basic's Coconut Mango
Conditioner - Back to Basic'c Coconut Mango
Deep Conditioner - Olive Oil by Regis Deep Hair Condition Balm
Face Scrub - Apricot Face Scrub by St. Ives
Face Wash - Deep Clean Fash Wash by Neutrogena
Body Wash - Japanesse Cherry Blossom by Bath & Body Works

Perfume:

TOP FIVE PICKS
Dream Angel's- Heavenly by Victoria's Secret
RALPH by Ralph Lauren
Ruehl No.925 by Ruehl
D & G LIGHT BLUE by Dolce & Gabbana
COOL WATER by Davidoff

Body Splash: Pure Seduction by Victoria's Secret GARDEN

My favorite icons....

2007-06-25T19:56:00.000-04:00

I'm a Really Good Singer

2007-06-24T11:19:00.000-04:00

Okay, fine, maybe not... But I can sing this one line in "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie really, really well...

"And I'M gonna MISS you like a CHILD misses their BLANKET but I'VE got to get a MOVE on with MY life!"

I mean, I should be on stage when I sing that line. Seriously.

I'm also really good at "I'm up against the speaker tryin' to take on the music it's like a competition me against the beat I wanna get in the zone... I wanna get in the zone..."

And don't even challenge me on a "You must not know 'bout me, you must not know 'bout me!" And forget about "To the left, to the left..." and that long "Mmmm...." part right after it. I've got fancy wrist movements that are full of attitude to go along with this song, and they are so cool.

Oh! Just thought of another.... I will smoke you on every word of "The Jumpoff" by Lil Kim. If you don't have this song, you must download it now. It's so damn fun. "I got a man in Japan and a dude in Tahiti. Believe me sweetie, I got enough to feed the needy..."

Okay, that's all for my little musical outburst.

What comes first, the chicken or the sex?

2007-06-23T13:14:00.000-04:00

Which comes first - the relationship or the sex? Theoretically, I suppose that it could happen either way, but in most lasting relationships I've seen, the sex had to wait a little while.

My friend, Barbara, is a classic case. I've known her for years, and to sum her up in one sentence, she's a cross between Charlotte and Martha Stewart - impeccable taste, flawless manners, and an innate sense of what pastries are best suited to which holiday. She's a domestic maven with a major case of perfectionism. (She's been that way since college - proof that you don't need to be a housewife to channel Martha.)

At any rate, as you may have suspected by my description of her, Babs was never one to sleep around. In our mid-twenties, however, after she and her longtime boyfriend broke up, Babs decided she was sick of letting everyone else have all the fun. We went out one night and she met a guy (a friend of a friend - she hadn't gone quite so far as to pick up strangers) and much to everyone's surprise, went home with him.

For a few weeks, Babs was not herself. She was carrying condoms in her purse. She was wearing incredibly short skirts. She was smoking cigarettes and she was seeing the guy almost every night. Then, she was suddenly back to her old self, clad in Talbot's and Ann Taylor...and going home alone. She confessed over cocktails what had happened. Her little fling had been rather unsettling. During the sex, the guy had a) repeatedly called her Mommy, and b) kept talking about how dirty and bad they were and c) how everyone was going to find out what they were doing and tell her she was a bad Mommy. The night he took off his pants to reveal that he was wearing a diaper, she bolted.

Scarred by her brush with freakiness, Babs decided that from then on, she was going to be very, very, very careful who she let into her bed. About a year after the diaper incident, she met Cliff and right away, it was pretty obvious that he was "The Guy" for her..but she made him wait. Months. Many months. At times we worried that poor Cliff would run for the hills, but he loved her and after hearing her tale about Mr. Freak Show, he totally understood why she wasn't eager to jump into the sack with someone else. So, they built a relationship based on affection and trust...and a mutual dislike of wearing diapers. When Babs finally decided the time was right to have sex again, we didn't see her or Cliff for two weeks.

Years later, they're still together - married, and apparently still going at it. According to Babs, they're trying for a baby...a lot.

DUI & Breathalyzers

2007-06-20T20:19:00.000-04:00

I'm not trying to give drunk drivers tips on how to get out of it, but I was just reading an article about Nicole Richie and it got me thinking... Can't you refuse to take a breathalyzer?

When I was in college, a guy I knew was pulled over for a possible DUI. He was in law school at the time, so he knew he could refuse to take a breathalyzer and did. I think it resulted in him being automatically arrested and maybe even having his license suspended, but when it came down to court, they didn't have any concrete evidence to convict him, so he was let off. Does anyone know about this?

Re: Nicole Richie... if she didn't take a breathalyzer and the only thing she did was admit to getting high and taking Vicodin... If her attorney finds a way to get her admissions thrown out, then they'd have a harder time convicting her, right?Comments... Lawyers? Law school students? People with personal experience?

My Starbucks Office: An Open Letter to Starbucks Corporate

2007-06-18T15:10:00.000-04:00

Back in Lexington......

It's hard to work from home, it is. Someone is always calling (usually my mom) or stopping by (usually my drug dealer) and interrupting what I'm doing. (Kidding about the drug dealer. Really.) And then there's the kitchen. It's always needs cleaning. And don't even get me started on the cat. For some reason he feels that he MUST MUST MUST sit between me and the computer and lie down over my forearms while I'm typing. These things combined with the fact that Oprah's on at four are enough to make even the most dedicated person unproductive. Because of this, I frequently visit my local Starbucks to get work done.

It's my Starbucks office, that's what I call it. There are branches all over. Yes, I'm one of those people who camp out at a table all day, one of those people who prevent you from finding a seat when you stop by in the middle of the afternoon for your non-fat mocha. Sorry. But I buy things all throughout the day; I try to earn my keep.

Okay, so on with my story. I've been going to this one Starbucks forever. I like it because it's close to where I live, I get free wireless there, and it's cozy and neighorhoody. Other writers go there as well, but I don't know their names. It's kind of like an unspoken rule--we're there to write, not chat, so we watch one another's stuff during bathroom runs (a huge disadvantage of going to a 'bucks where you don't know anyone is that you have to pack up every time you go to the bathroom, which happens WAY too frequently because you're drinking so much damn coffee because you don't want to be kicked out, so you usually lose your table by the time you get back), we share tables when it's crowded--but we never EVER exchange names. I like this. Let me repeat: I LIKE THIS. And I thought they did to. But then came Lenny.

The fact that I know his name should tell you that this guy was nothing but trouble from the get-go. Yep. From the moment he arrived on the scene, Lenny was chatty, chatty, chatty. It was "What are you working on?" this and "How do you like your computer?" that and "Gosh, it sure is windy outside today, huh?" I wanted to turn him and yell, "FOCUS, Lenny! FOCUS! We're here to work!" But I didn't. Why not? Because I'm a people pleaser. I don't like to cause problems. I don't like tension. What I'm learning about myself as I get older is that I avoid confrontation at all costs.

Since I didn't want to be rude I answered Lenny's many questions, which of course led to the most dreaded one of all: "By the way... what's your name?" As my co-workers shot me worried glances that said, What in the hell is he doing???, I felt a pit form in my stomach. I wasn't sure what to say. If I told him my name did it mean we were going to be friends? I mean, I'm always up for making new friends... but not with Lenny, not with chatty, chatty Lenny.Against my better judgment I told Lenny my name, which led to an even MORE dreaded question: "Would you like to get a drink sometime?" Would I WHAT? Did I hear him correctly? Many of my co-workers choked on their chai tea lattes and looked away. I mean, this was our place of employment for God's sake. I was in a predicament. If I said no to Lenny's drink, it would be rude because it's kind of like saying, "I don't want to be your friend." If I said, "No, I have a boyfriend," then it would be presumptuous of me to assume that Lenny was looking for something romantic. So anyway, I said yes. As I started to write down my e-mail address, he interrupted and asked for my phone number. My PHONE NUMBER. I mean, shit -- right? I couldn't say I didn't have a phone because it was sitting right in front of me, so I gave it to him.

Lenny called about a week later. I was on the other line at the time and told him I'd call him back, but I forgot. By the time I remembered, his number had disappeared from my call history. Since then, I haven't gone back to the 'bucks for fear of a "confrontation." I'd have to say something about not calling him back, and then he'd say, "Oh, it's no big deal, really," and then I wouldn't be able to work because it would be awkward and I'd be all worried about it.I walk by my favorite Starbucks a lot (always on the other side of the street, of course) and look in the windows--Lenny's always there. Fucker. He drove me out. And I was there first. I've tried to transfer to some other office branches in the neighborhood, but I haven't had much luck. The Starbucks on Nicholasville is really drafty, and the one on Boston is okay, but I have to pay for wireless internet there and it's kind of far.

All of this leads me to one thing: Starbucks needs a human resources department. It's as simple as that. I'm not asking for baristas to announce my appointments, screen my calls, or validate parking for my clients or anything--I just need a place to go to air my grievances, you know? I need someone to complain to when the techie with the Mac, iPod, Blackberry and phone hogs all the outlets. I need someone to complain to when people like Lenny ask me out on a date. Hell, I don't even need a whole department--one person would do. So if anyone reading this has pull at Starbucks corporate, please try to make this happen. I'd be happy to come to a board meeting and make my case. Thank you.

A Pound of Fat

2007-06-15T12:37:00.000-04:00

Has anyone else seen the drugstore display for the new diet pill Alli? The product doesn't come out until tomorrow, but the displays at the Rite Aid have been up for awhile and they are the most disgusting things EVER. A pound of fake, yellowy fat is affixed to them, and it made me wanna barf up my breakfast right there in aisle three and develop a serious case of anorexia. (Which I s'pose would make them effective.)
I tried to remove the fat from the display to take a picture and show you how big it is, but it was glued down. (You know it'll only be a matter of time, though, before some bully kid pries it loose and throws it at the chubby girl on the playground.)

The booooommmmm

2007-06-10T17:39:00.000-04:00

When my grandfather found out he was dying he decided to have a grandfather & grandaughter day before he was gone. He came by and picked me up from my mom's and took me to get ice cream and then to the park. At the park my grandfather picked a benched and sat me down on his lap. He explained to me that he was sick and the doctors didn't think they could make him better, he went on tell me that he didn't have many material possessions but what he did have was experience. He told me that you know you're in love when your heart goes "boom." He explained this "boom" is that it's not the giddy feeling you get when you first meet someone; it's deeper than that. It's more of a low, bellowing boom that resonates in your body the moment you realize you need someone, you love someone. It's more a boooooommmmm than a boom! Being 6 years old and not having a clue about much I told my grandfather that I felt that boooooommmmm for him. He laughed at me for a minute and then got very serious and told me not to settle for anything less than feeling that "boom" in my heart. He died 3 weeks later and at the funeral my grandmother got up in front of all those people, walked up to his casket and leaned down and whispered something to him. When I was older I asked my grandmother what she whispered at his funeral. She paused and then told me, "I told him I had lost my best friend and the only man who made my heart shudder." I looked at her and I simply said "The boom." She looked away and began to cry, "The boom" she said.

Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect Two Hundred Dollars...

2007-06-09T12:32:00.000-04:00

Paris is heading back to the slammer!! You gotta love the justice system! First they let her out due to health related problems...aka she was going nuts in the big house....and then they throw her ass back in jail! Now how many of us would be able to put on lip gloss and fix our hair before taking our mug shot? Class act that girl!